Stop People-Pleasing: How to Stop People From Taking Advantage of You.

For the audio version of this, please go here – https://colindurrant.substack.com/p/stop-people-pleasing-how-to-stop

How to help others. To help others you need to help yourself first. When you are strong and resilient and you have walked a path of suffering and come out the other side.

Then you can share your story with others. Help them with their own fights and battles. Teach and guide them how to be.

Give them tools and knowledge so that they may help themselves. But, you cannot actually help anyone. You can only guide them but ultimately, they have to do the work and take the action in order to help themselves.

I can talk to you about the importance of being in nature. To take the time to stop and listen. To get away from all the daily hustle and bustle of your life and be at peace with yourself.

To ground yourself in nature which is where we came from. I can promise you that you will feel better.

But if you never get round to actually doing it. To taking the action and actually doing this exercise, then nothing will change for you.

I can’t drag you into nature and dump you there. Well, I guess I can but it won’t have the same effect.

It comes down to you to prioritise self-care. To love yourself. To understand that loving yourself and looking after yourself in the first instance, allows you to be stronger and a rock for others.

It allows you to lead others. To be a better parent if you are one. When you can be at peace with yourself and your own thoughts then you can develop more self-awareness.

Self-awareness of how you are reacting to life around you. How much are you complaining. Remember that complaining about things that happen to you in your life will result in more of that being created.

Because that is the message that you are giving your subconscious. I want more of this, which is why I am focused on it all the time. I am always talking about it to myself and to my friends.

So the universe will give you more of whatever you are complaining about. This is why they say, be careful what you wish for. Because deep down, we know that we have the ability to create whatever we want to in our life.

When we can let go of the how and the resistance to actually having what we would love. And when it comes from a pure place and not from a place where we are trying to satisfy a dysfunctional belief system.

Then we can truly create what we wish for. When we put our focus into what we would love, rather than what we don’t love. Then, again, we can get more of what we love.

It is the self-awareness of our thoughts and more importantly, what action are we taking or not taking in order to go after what we would love to have in our life.

When we take the action to look after ourselves first, to love ourself. Then we are in a better place to help ourselves and others.

A lot of people want to help others, but this often comes from a place of distracting themselves from looking at their own life. They’re always looking at others but not themselves.

They’re always busy running around doing things for others and never putting themselves first. These people often end up getting taking advantage of.

And then they retaliate by never helping anyone else again. They become bitter and resentful.

But if they loved themselves and put themselves first then they would have the strength and resolve to recognise when they are not actually helping others and simply being taken advantage of.

If you are trying to help someone but they refuse to take the action to help themselves but they constantly lean on you for support, then you are enabling their inner monster to thrive.

They are not changing and evolving. You are actually making things worse.

So help those that wish to actually be helped but remember to help yourself first. If you’re looking for help and you’re ready to evolve, then get in touch with me.

I’ve been on the journey and I am ready to lead others out the other side to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

I’m offering a special discount on subscriptions. I will be offering extra goodies soon. You can get 75% off forever by using this link: https://colindurrant.substack.com/fce0b2b8